Emotion rule: how jonathan haidt can help us improve relationships


C.I.G. is partly supported by its readers. If you're buying our connections, we can make a partnership commission ...

Ever think about something like that? " I don't understand why my girlfriend is so emotional. Why can't she be as rational as I am? ".Or how about this? " Why does my boyfriend never listen? I'm perfectly clear. ".

Or is it? " I want my friends to change their stupid opinions. Don't they see how they're obviously wrong? ".We all have, I suppose. It is easy to look at other people and wonder why they are not acting rationally, why they adhere to beliefs that seem stupid ...

Well, I have some good news for you. You don't have to think that. This is

I've known about this for a long time, but I didn' t understand it until I read a book that changed the way I view emotions, relationships, and how people think and (un) reason ...

The book I'm talking about is Jonathan Haidt.

As this is a council blog, I am going to stay away from politics and religion and focus on the book can teach us to be better than guys, friends, friends, and people ..

I can only talk to power from the point of view of mascara, but I know that I had more than once, that emotions are stupid. I like to imagine that I am Spock who can master his emotions and achieve greater enlightenment and peace than anyone who is "controlled" by his feelings ...

I meant the classic dichotomy in Western philosophy: mind and emotion.

However, as I learned from Heidt, this is a mistaken view of emotion:

To explain what he means by "peculiar information processing", Heidt asks the reader to imagine the elephant and his rider.

Within the limits of the border, the rider can control where the elephant is going, but if the elephant really wants to go somewhere, no rider can do it, but hang it on (45). As a clever creature, the elephant is not simply moved by chance-it acts in fashion, which serves its interests ..

On the whole, the relations are mutually beneficial: the rider receives a break from walking, and the elephant gets someone to feed and speak for it ..

If you imagine that the rider is a conscious, controlled type of cognition (what we usually see as a reason) and an elephant is an unconscious species (consisting of automatic processes like emotion and mind), then you have a rather precise model of how your mind makes judgment ...

The emotional part of the brain (the elephant) was the first evolutionary, and it is still the dominant one. Part of the controlled justification evolved later. It is important to understand, says Hidt, that "the Horseman was there in the first place to serve the Elephant" (46). The underlying reason has evolved to help us better negotiate the world.

Okay, you're saying, but.

Hidt does so:

" Convicts of such functions as the spokesperson, which automatically justifies any position taken by the president. With the help of our press secretary, we can often lie and cheat, and then report it so effectively that we even convince ourselves (91) ..

Our elephants make the bulk of your judgments and judgments, and we are so good at using our horsemen to justify them, we don't even realize it most of the time ...

No one's smart enough to be beyond that strait. In fact, Hidt says that a study conducted in 1991 by psychologist David Perkins found that " IQ was the biggest predictor of how well people argued,

Most of us, of course, will not be world leaders, but you can see similar situations in everyday life as well ...

Remember the last argument you had with someone near you. Disagreement may have begun for a good reason, but how quickly did it happen in each of you who wanted to prove the other? Such kind of fights, in terms of things, pointless ...

Okay, you're saying it's great, but why do I have to take care of it? I'm not neuroscience or psychology.You have to take care of it, because.When you realize that most of the information is automated, you realize that most of the "frustrating", "stupid" or "annoying" things people are just the result of emotional, intuitive thinking ...

When you realize that the emotional part of the brain is the oldest and the most dominant one, you stop obsaying others (and yourself) for being "unwise."

When you realize that "self-informed judgment is possible in theory, but rarely in practice," you can adopt a more accurate model of mind that not only accepts, but also notes emotion as the main driver of judgments and judgments (46) ..

I'll end up with a quote from the Buddha that Hidt is using on page. 54:.

" It is easy to see the shortcomings of others, but it is difficult to see your own shortcomings. One of them shows that others, like Haffe, break in the wind, but one hides its own shortcomings as a wily player hiding its cube.The next time you're mad at a friend or you've grown fond of being "unjustifiable," remember that it is unfair to accuse the riders of what an elephant does naturally. Remember that you are as unreasonable as the people you criticize ...

You want to make better grades?You found this article useful?

I'll join you, and I'll also send you.

27 Councils on College, which I learned in the Second Course.

Further work in my popular post about what I learned in the first year of the year, this post provides even more lessons from the year of the second year ...

10 best applications for tracking the Habit Tracking in 2019.

Build new habits and break off the bad with these 10 habits of habit. Whether you value aesthetics or agamification, there is an annex in the list for you